I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
