Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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