I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
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