Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
