I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
