It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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