uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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