So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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