He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize