Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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