Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
