So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
