Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
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I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
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BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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