just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
