I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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