I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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