The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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