haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
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Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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