you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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