Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
