pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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