I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
