doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
