please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
