Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
