The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
