I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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