My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
