Please, let me fuck your mom
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
