Sponge bath it is.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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