What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
