fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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