Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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