Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
