Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
