apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
