that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
