now i know why i became what i already was.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
