i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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