Only a mothe r could love this liver
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
