Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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