You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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