haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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