Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
