She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
