You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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