So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You can't motorboat a personality
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
