We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize