I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
