Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.