i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
