Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
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When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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