Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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