yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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