can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
