Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
