piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
